Please REAd?

I wrote a speech and its due tomorrow i have to present in front of my class.


please read it because im afraid its stupid


June 13, 2003. To you, this date probably means nothing at all, but before this, my life was completely different than it is now. This is the day that I moved here, from Russia.


Good morning Mr. Dickin, and my fellow classmates. My speech is about what it was like for me, growing up in Russia.





I was born in a little town, the name of which is unpronounceable, in the middle of Siberia. Of course it was cold there. We would have snow three quarters of the year round-it would fall out in the middle of September, and melt towards the end of May, snowing on and off in between. I really didn’t mind the snow, obviously because I was used to it, and it was pretty fun to be able to play in the snow every day, even if we didn’t ever get snow days off from school. At its coldest, the temperature would drop down to minus 50 degrees Celsius, but usually stayed at minus 30. But

Please REAd?
You did a pretty good job on it, I agree with the Catholic Christmas, everyone here but Jehovah wittnesses celebrate the birth of Christ, also known as Christmas so you should just put Christmas. Theres just a few small sentence structure problems I would correct have another teacher go over it and help you correct a few things other than that its good, it gives some detail about how your life was in Russia and I'll tell you, it must have been freezen cold there!!! I cant even imagine it snowing into May around here. It must be very different for you here, how long have you been in the US? I commend you for moving so far away from home, coming here, making new friends and enjoying being here. I wish you the best. and good luck on your paper, dont be afraid to stand in front of classmates and share a part of your life with them. Let it come from your heart and you cant lose. Good luck and God speed





PS. I would start off with " Good morning Mr. Dickin, and my fellow classmates. My speech is about what it was like for me, growing up in Russia" and then move on to "June 13, 2003. To you, this date probably means nothing at all, but before this, my life was completely different than it is now. This is the day that I moved here, from Russia" it sounds more structured and proper. One last thing, try not to start your sentences with the word 'And'


:-)
Reply:i like it but its a little wordy at the 2nd entry
Reply:I have two comments:





1) I find it VERY hard to believe you have been here (USA?) for less than five years, because your english grammar and spelling is exemplary. It's not perfect, but it is better than 99% of all the other posters I whose questions I have read here in Y!Answers.





2) I think your story is quite interesting! I learned many things about what it is like to grow up in Russia... if you actually DID grow up in Russia and didn't make this all up, LOL!!!
Reply:i would start it off with the Good morning Mr Dickin, and fellow classmates. I will speak to you today about what it was like for me growing up in Russia. Then i would go to I was born in a little town --------. And i would close it out by saying June 13th 2003 my family moved to This country and it's OK I have made lots of great Friends-------------------. The story is absolutely beautiful. If i were your instructor i would definitely give you an "A" for the story. I am quite sure there could be other changes. But nothing is ever perfect when you are learning. Very good work.
Reply:Wow I like it. The only thing I would change is the wording of Catholic Christmas. It is also a Christian celebration to. So I would just say Christmas. You've done a lot of travelling and observing growing up I can see since you are so young ;) I think you did a job well done. Just don't be nervous, you'll be fine!