As an icy new winter wind swept across the city Melissa Baker had just woken up. It was a chilly Saturday morning and it was 11:00. She had just woken to a loud bang on her window pane. She opened the curtains only to find a vast white blanket of snow that covered everything for what looked like miles. There, standing under her window her best friend Justin Bates was standing with a snowball in his hand. Melissa opened the window and yelled
“Hey, Must you hurl snowballs at my window at 11:00 on a Saturday morning?”
“Yeah, Sorry about that. But you wanna come outside? We can have a snow ball fight then we can go to Starbucks for a hot chocolate. My treat.”
“Sure lemme just get ready and then ill come out!”
Melissa closed her window and went to go put on her boots, hats, sweat pants and mittens and jacket. She pulled on all her new winter clothes and ran downstairs to tell her mom she was leaving.
“Okay mom, im going to go outside in the snow with Justin and then we are going to go get some hot chocolate at Starbucks, is that okay?”
“Sure, just don’t stay out to long, you might catch pneumonia,”
“What ever mom, Bye.”
As soon as Melissa opened the door she saw a large ball of snow coming her way. She quickly shut the door and ran outside and began to make a snowball to throw at Justin. They had a snow ball fight and then decided to go to Justin’s and build an igloo. They walked next door and went around to the back yard. They began to make the igloo and by the time they where done they really did need that hot chocolate break. The plan was to go to Starbucks, then come back and play in the snow some more. Wile walking to the near by plaza they talked about what it would be like to go back to school and see everyone again. It had been 2 weeks since they had last seen their friends and they couldn’t wait to see everyone again. They where in their grade seven year and would be graduating in June. They had reached Starbucks and where just getting in line to order when they saw a girl and a boy from school. Mark Carso and Victoria Potas. Victoria spoke first.
“Hey guys, what’s up?”
“Oh hey Victoria, What’s up? How’s your vacation been going?” Justin Replied.
“Oh its been going good. How About yours?”
Before Justin got a chance to reply, Mark inturupted and suggested that Victoria and Melissa go sit down and get a table while he and Justin went to go get the drinks. The girls agreed and told the boys what they wanted. When they where out of ear shot Victoria quietly said;
“So are you and Justin going out?”
I am writing a story in my free time and i wanted someone elses opinion, so please comment!?
great
Reply:thats awesomeee but you shouldn't post this if your going to publish it because someone could steal it and publish it before you, just saying. But I like it its nice i wish you could continue it because I want to read the rest. lol = )
Reply:thats good i also like to write stories (off the top of my head tho) i think its really good for mental health.
Reply:pretty good, i but i hope you make something more interesting happen else people may get bored, and its okay to leave out a few details, like what time it was when she woke up. you could just say morning or late morning. but keep up the good work.
Reply:As an icy new winter wind swept across the city, Melissa Baker had just woken up. It was a chilly Saturday morning and it was 11:00 am. She had just woken to a loud bang on her window pane. She opened the curtains only to find a vast white blanket of snow that covered everything for what looked like miles. There, standing under her window her best friend Justin Bates was standing with a snowball in his hand. Melissa opened the window and yelled
“Hey, Must you hurl snowballs at my window at 11:00 on a Saturday morning?”
“Yeah, Sorry about that. But you wanna come outside? We can have a snow ball fight then we can go to Starbucks for a hot chocolate. My treat.”
“Sure lemme just get ready and then ill come out!”
Melissa closed her window and went to go put on her boots, hats, sweat pants and mittens and jacket. She pulled on all her new winter clothes and ran downstairs to tell her mom she was leaving.
“Okay mom, im going to go outside in the snow with Justin and then we are going to go get some hot chocolate at Starbucks, is that okay?”
“Sure, just don’t stay out to long, you might catch pneumonia,”
“What ever mom, Bye.”
As soon as Melissa opened the door she saw a large ball of snow coming her way. She quickly shut the door and ran outside and began to make a snowball to throw at Justin. They had a snow ball fight and then decided to go to Justin’s and build an igloo. They walked next door and went around to the back yard. They began to make the igloo and by the time they where done they really did need that hot chocolate break. The plan was to go to Starbucks, then come back and play in the snow some more. Wile walking to the near by plaza they talked about what it would be like to go back to school and see everyone again. It had been 2 weeks since they had last seen their friends and they couldn’t wait to see everyone again. They where in their grade seven year and would be graduating in June. They had reached Starbucks and where just getting in line to order when they saw a girl and a boy from school. Mark Carso and Victoria Potas. Victoria spoke first.
“Hey guys, what’s up?”
“Oh hey Victoria, What’s up? How’s your vacation been going?” Justin Replied.
“Oh its been going good. How About yours?”
Before Justin got a chance to reply, Mark inturupted and suggested that Victoria and Melissa go sit down and get a table while he and Justin went to go get the drinks. The girls agreed and told the boys what they wanted. When they where out of ear shot Victoria quietly said;
“So are you and Justin going out?”
Great
Reply:I think it's kinda borring
sorry
shoe horns
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